


More Than a Memory

by captainamergirl



Category: General Hospital
Genre: Billy Miller as Jason Morgan, Dream when they were NuJasam, F/M, Killy - Freeform, NuJasam, Where oh where can BaeMiller be?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-08
Updated: 2020-07-08
Packaged: 2021-03-04 21:41:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,152
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25143313
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/captainamergirl/pseuds/captainamergirl
Summary: Written in 2016 when Billy Miller was portraying Jason. [NuJasam/Dream]
Relationships: Andrew "Drew" Cain/Samantha "Sam" McCall, Samantha "Sam" McCall/Jason Morgan





	1. Chapter 1

** Part 1 **   
  
It was another long night in string of long quiet nights. Sam couldn’t stand being cooped up in the penthouse yet again. She thought a long walk and some fresh air would do her some good. Wandering through town and past the city lights, she found herself on the docks. It had cooled down since she had started her walk and now the fog was rolling in, shrouding her in its cool blanket. The mist was now a light rain. How had she ended up here? Inside her soul, though, she knew why. She loved this place, being out on the open water was exhilarating. A slight smile started to form on her lips.   
  
Suddenly she thought she heard a sound and caught the faint whiff of a familiar scent. Was she dreaming or just going crazy? She instinctively swung around to see none other than Jason approaching her. Her heart began to race as she saw the look in his familiar blue eyes. She couldn’t believe that there had been a time that she looked into those azure depths and saw a stranger. Looking at him now, striding towards her clad in a leather jacket and blue jeans, she knew this was Jason.  _Her_ Jason. She should have known all along.   
  
“Jason, what – what are you doing here?” She asked, finally finding words. Jason didn’t answer as he closed the distance between them, immediately pulling her against his chest. There was no hesitation in his desperation to hold her, to be near her, to touch her. She moaned as he kissed her fiercely on the lips. If this was a dream, she never wanted to wake up. Jason had been gone for well over a month taking care of Jake and though she had heard Jason's voice every night on the phone, nothing compared to being in his arms again.   
  
The kiss quickly stole the breath from Sam’s lungs and she found herself sagging against him as they finally lifted their heads, drawing in greedy breaths. “I had to kiss you,” Jason said in a husky whisper.   
  
“I’m not complaining.” Sam smiled, reaching up to touch his cheek. “How is Jake? Is he done at Shriner’s Hospital now?”   
  
“He’s well enough to come home this weekend,” Jason answered. “The doctors said his recovery rate was miraculous; that he’s made so much progress. Sam, it was amazing.”   
  
“He’s strong, Jason. Of course he is - he’s your son. I am so glad that he’s going to be alright. I actually prayed for him, and you know, I don’t really do that.”   
  
“Thank you. That means a lot.”   
  
“How’d you find me out here?”   
  
“Something just told me to come here. I got off the jet and right away, I had this feeling I would find you here. How have you been?” He stroked her hair gently and Sam relished in the feeling of his simple touch.   
  
“Good. Really good now that you’re here.”   
  
“And how’s Danny?”   
  
“He’s good too. He looks forward to your calls so much. It’s all I can do to get him to sleep after one of your nightly phone calls though.”   
  
“I’d love to see him too,” Jason said.   
  
“I know he would love that,” Sam said. “Is it too late for you or-“   
  
“Not at all.”   
  
Sam nodded. “Okay, then we can swing by and pick him up from my parents’ place. They were going to have a sleepover.”   
  
“Maybe I shouldn’t interrupt him then.”   
  
Sam chuckled. “Trust me, he won’t mind one bit.” She started to head towards the stairs but Jason caught her tiny hand in his much larger one.   
  
“Sam…  _Wait.”_   
  
“What is it?”   
  
Jason gestured upwards as the sky opened and heavy rain drops began to pelt down on them. “I want to … dance with you. Like you told me we used to do. I need to hold you right now.”   
  
“Jason, you don’t –“ She broke off as she realized she had been about to tell Jason that he didn’t like to dance. But he had to figure these things out for himself. She had vowed never to try to lead him in one direction or the other and she intended to keep her promise. Instead she offered, “Are you sure?”   
  
He nodded. She slipped back into his arms and he settled his hands on her slender hips. She pressed close to him as they began to sway to a song only they could hear.   
  
XoXoXo   
  
They were soaked to the bone by the time they made it to the Lakehouse. Alexis took one look at them standing on the doorstep and yanked both of them inside, throwing an afghan over them, while Julian watched Jason with decided distrust.   
  
Sam smiled as Alexis positioned them in front of the fireplace and called for Danny. The adorable little blond-haired boy came padding into the living room in short order. He took one look at Jason and excitedly screamed  _“Daddy!”_ before running to Jason and throwing himself at his father. Sam watched the whole display with dewy tears on her eyelashes.   
  
Jason hugged Danny to him, giving him a long embrace before gently setting him down and saying, “Let me get a good look at you, kid… Well, you’ve grown up, haven’t you?”   
  
Danny laughed. “I still small,” he insisted and Jason shook his head.   
  
“No, you’re growing like a weed. Slow it down a bit, okay?” Jason teased.   
  
Danny laughed again and tugged at Jason and Sam’s wet sleeves. "How come you wet?” He asked.   
  
Sam smiled. “Well, it’s raining cats and dogs out there,” she pointed out. "And your Dad and I … we got kind of distracted out there…”   
  
Julian rolled his eyes. “I definitely don’t want to hear this.”   
  
Alexis nudged her husband with her elbow. “Julian…”   
  
“I’ll be in the next room,” Julian said tersely and moved away from Alexis.   
  
“Julian, wait,” Jason called to his father-in-law. Jason looked determined, and above all, sincere, as he said,  _“I know._ I know I haven’t been there for Sam and Danny the way I should have been…But that is all changing right now.”   
  
“Don’t make promises you can’t keep,” Julian grumbled.   
  
“Dad…” Sam said in a low, warning voice.   
  
“I don’t want you to hurt them anymore, Jason, or disappoint them or-“   
  
“From now on, Sam and Danny are the top priorities in my life.” Then he looked at Danny and Sam. “Say you believe that. Please.”   
  
Danny just nodded and hugged Jason’s knees while Sam reached for Jason’s hand, whispering, “I do believe that. I believe  _in_ you, Jason.”   
  
XoXoXo   
  
Bundling Danny up in a thick jacket and hoodie, Sam and Jason were soon moving for the door. They borrowed Alexis’s car - at her insistence - and after carefully tucking Danny into his spare car seat, they drove off together.   
  
The streets were quiet and empty; rain had driven everyone else inside. Sam pressed her nose against the foggy glass as Jason piloted the car through town. “What are you thinking about?” Jason asked at one point.   
  
Sam smiled. “How incredibly lucky I am.”   
  
XoXoXo   
  
It was almost nine p.m. when the little family of three burst through the front door of the penthouse. Danny immediately insisted on showing Jason his new race car and so they climbed the stairs together. Sam stayed downstairs listening to father and son’s happy laughter. She wanted to give them this moment, just the two of them. She only went upstairs when she knew Danny needed to be tucked into bed for the night.   
  
Jason helped Danny brush his teeth and change into a pair of warm footie pajamas. Sam watched the whole scene with happiness in her heart. This moment was all she had ever dreamt about and more. Seeing Jason gently caring for their son caused such a feeling of peace to flood her chest. She loved the feeling of safety and security she had only ever truly enjoyed with Jason.   
  
Jason started to read Danny a book on Africa but Danny was fast asleep in his arms in no time. Sam hung in the doorway as Jason smiled at her and slowly disentangled from his youngest son’s embrace. He moved towards her. His arm lightly brushed hers as she moved to close the door and she felt a prickle of heat race up her shoulder.   
  
They started down the stairs then, Jason following her lead. “Can I make you some coffee or something?” Sam asked. She didn’t want the night to end.   
  
“I didn’t think you could make coffee without burning it,” Jason teased. He slowed to a stop. “Wait, how did I know that?”   
  
“You must have heard that my cooking skills suck,” Sam said. Her heart started hammering wildly in her chest. “I’ve nearly burnt down the penthouse about fifty times by now so my lack of expertise in that area is legendary, or shall I say, infamous … Unless … Unless you remember something?” She heard the hope in her voice. She couldn’t help it or hide it.   
  
“I don’t know … Did you ever try to cook for me though?”   
  
“Yes, I tried a few times before you realized that I sucked at it and that I was endangering our lives by trying.” Sam’s heart kept thudding frantically in her chest.   
  
“I think I remember something, Sam,” Jason said quietly. “I mean it’s in my head anyway – close by, just waiting for me to snatch it back so I can make the memory mine.   
  
“I want to remember you, Sam. I want to remember Danny. I want to remember our life together, every happy moment, and even every sad one. I want all of that because it was mine. It belonged to me, it made me who I am, just like I know you did.”   
  
“Jason…”   
  
“Sam,” Jason said huskily, pulling her to a stop in the doorway of the kitchen. “I want to remember you. I long to remember you. I’ll do anything to get my memories back but even if they never return, I want you to know something.”   
  
Her voice was shaky. “Know what?”   
  
“That I want you in my life now, no matter what. I told you that already but I want you to really believe it. I want you to feel you can trust in it; that you can trust in me.”   
  
“I do, Jason,” Sam said. She smiled as his fingers suddenly whispered across the skin of her face to gently push an errant lock of hair from her eyes. He used to touch her hair like that all of the time. It felt like coming home.   
  
Jason watched her intently for a long moment before dipping his head. His lips sought hers and Sam rose up on her tippy-toes to meet him, gathering the front of his tee-shirt between her fingers. He laced his arms around her waist and tugged her as close to him as she could possibly get. His tongue darted at her lips and she opened her mouth to accept it.   
  
She clung tightly to him as their kiss grew in heat and intensity. If she hadn't been holding onto him, she would have floated away on a cloud of desire by now.   
  
His fingers knotted in her hair and his stubbled cheek pressed against hers before he leaned still closer, whispering, “Sam, I need you. I want you.”   
  
“I want you too,” Sam whispered back. She looked up into his smoky eyes and then felt a little gasp of pleasure and surprise escape her parted lips as he hauled her up against his chest and carried her towards the staircase.


	2. Chapter 2

** Part 2 **   
  
“It’s the room -” Sam started as Jason carried her towards the staircase.   
  
“At the end of the hall,” Jason finished for her. “I remember. I’ve been here before. I mean, before I even knew who I was, I was drawn to this place.”   
  
Sam nodded, looking up into his smoky eyes as she rested her hand on the curve of his left bicep. “Oh right. You did a little B&E here didn’t you?”   
  
“Are you mad about that?” Jason asked.   
  
“No,” Sam replied as his boot-clad heel hit the bottom stair. With each effortless step that he took, she felt that she was moving closer to her destiny.  _Their destiny;_ the new beginning that they deserved so much. She would be lying to herself though if she didn’t admit that she was nervous as hell. Their chemistry had always been off the charts in the bedroom so she wasn’t worried that they wouldn’t know what to do with each other. It’s what came after the sex that worried her… Would Jason run from her all over again? She didn’t want to believe that, but the possibility unsettled her a bit.   
  
Jason looked at her as they reached the landing. Twenty feet to go and they’d be in their bedroom.  _Their bedroom._ She could hardly catch her breath just thinking of that. He offered her a little smile that heated her entire body.   
  
As they passed Danny’s closed bedroom door, she had the strongest urge to giggle. Jason’s eyes went wide as he heard her chuckling. She tried to stifle the laugh behind her hand but it didn’t work and they both ended up laughing all of the way to the master bedroom.   
  
Jason carried her into the bedroom and moved for the bed, not missing a step. He set her down gently in the center of the mattress. Sam was still laughing. “Okay, why  _are_ we laughing?” Jason asked.   
  
“I don’t know. I guess it was just the idea of Danny waking up and catching us sneaking in here that got to me.”   
  
Jason smiled as he eased down onto the bed beside her. “We weren’t sneaking. I mean, there’s no reason to hide this, is there?”   
  
Sam sat up and reached for him, placing her tiny hands on either side of his stubbled face. “You’re right. This is natural and normal and -” She sighed. “Okay, I admit it. I’m nervous, Jason. I know that’s crazy. I want you so bad but-”   
  
Disappointment shown on Jason’s handsome face. “But it’s different for you now, right? You were used to making love to a man with a totally different face. I’m not that guy you once knew.”   
  
“That’s not it. Jason, I just don’t want to… pressure you, I guess.”   
  
“I don’t feel pressured,” Jason said. “I  _want_ to be here.”   
  
“And regrets? Afterwards, if you have regrets -” She swallowed. “I won’t lie. That would kill me.”   
  
Jason reached out and knotted his fingers in the long, soft locks of her hair. “I  _know_ that I am not going to have any regrets, Sam. I want this. It’s killing me… If I can’t touch you, if I don’t get to hold you…” He splayed his hands. “But if you want to wait, of course I accept that.”   
  
“I don’t. Want to wait, that is,” Sam said.  _“I can’t wait._ I need you here with me.” She reached for his hands, holding them for a long moment as she stared into his amazing blue eyes. Their fingers intertwined as Sam fell back on the bed.    
  
Jason hovered atop her as they began to kiss. Raising up on his hands, he swept his tongue along her plump bottom lip; lightly grinding his teeth into the soft flesh there. She moaned in pleasure as she squirmed underneath him.   
  
She moved to cup his face in her hands as he kissed her until she they were both breathless. “Sam,” he murmured as her hands slipped way down to cup his denim-clad ass cheeks in her hands, molding the taut globes with her palms. He still had the most amazing ass.   
  
“Sam,” he said again, lifting up a bit and staring into her eyes before going in for another hot kiss. His mouth touched hers and their tongues danced before he was shifting again, moving his face into the crook of her neck. He kissed the taut column of her throat and she shivered, arching up into him instinctively. She felt the hardness of him through the front of his jeans and she smiled up at him.   
  
“That’s one devious smile,” he said, gazing at her with a smile of his own. “What are you going to -  _Oh fuck!”_ He gritted his teeth as her hands found his dick and she began to massage his length through his pants. “You’re not playing fair,” he said. She responded by gyrating her hips against him. He growled at her, now clawing at the hem of her tee-shirt.   
  
He practically tore the fabric from her body and she blushed from head to toe as he feasted his eyes on her lithe body. His breath was stolen away and for a moment, all he could do was stare at her full breasts practically spilling out of her flimsy bra. “Sam,” he said, awe clear in his voice.   
  
She leaned into him and he smiled. His eyes were hooded and heavy-lidded as he kissed each of her shoulders and worked his mouth down to the valley of her breasts. He licked her there and she let loose with an  _“Oh fuck!”_ of her own.   
  
He settled his hands on her bare waist as they resumed kissing. Just when she thought she would completely lose control, he slid his hands up her back and snapped loose the clasp on her bra. The cheap material fell away and his eyes went wide as her breasts came tumbling free. The look of appreciation on  _his_ face made  _her_ instantly wet.   
  
Jason pushed Sam down onto the bed and moved beside her, touching her breasts. The feel of his calloused fingers on her body drove her wild and she bucked in anticipation as his mouth found her right nipple. “Jason,” she cried out as he licked and sucked on her, lightly grinding his teeth into her as if to mark her as his forever. God, she wanted that too. Forever.  _Always forever with Jason.  
_   
“Jason, please,” she whimpered as he continued the delicious torture on her breasts, all the while dancing his fingertips across her bare skin, causing sparks of heat to shoot through her.   
  
He moved his mouth to her other breast and latched onto a pink nipple, swirling his tongue around it again and again. She quaked on the bed, one of her legs coming up to knot around his lean hip as she felt herself quickly coming apart under the heat of his lips.   
  
When she did come, a scream wrenched from her lips. Jason grinned and they both immediately looked towards the door, sure for a moment that they had awakened Danny. However, their little boy didn’t appear so they knew that it was safe to continue what they had already put into motion.   
  
“So you’re a screamer,” Jason whispered against her ear, lightly licking her earlobe. “Mmmm, how could I forget that?” He chuckled.   
  
She slid her hands to the hem of his tee-shirt. “And you are not nearly naked enough,” she said huskily. She tugged the tee-shirt up over his head and looked him over. He was all sinew and bronzed skin - so fucking beautiful and she couldn’t resist telling him so. He looked sheepish at hearing her words. So he still couldn’t take a compliment. Some things -  _the best things_ \- never changed.   
  
“But it’s true. You are beautiful,” Sam said again.   
  
He brushed his lips against her earlobe again.  _“You_ are beautiful, Sam,” he said. He kissed her collarbone. She shivered with pleasure.   
  
Jason traced the curve of her breasts and then slid his hands down her body until they came to rest at the waistband of her own jeans. She couldn’t breathe, the anticipation was so great. He paused for a moment and then kissed her belly button. Finally, he eased down the zipper on her pants. She lifted up as he tugged off her jeans, taking her panties and stilettos with them. His eyes roved over her bare body and she saw the undisguised lust in his gorgeous eyes. He  _did_ want her. What a wonderfully erotic notion.   
  
He parted her thighs with steady hands. She squirmed in anticipation but he pressed a hand to her taut abdomen, holding her in place. Her whole body instantly reacted to the feel of his mouth on her. Hot prickles spread throughout her, making even her toes tingle. He pressed a finger inside of her heat and she immediately clamped down around it. He traced her clit with his fingernail and it was all she could do not to scream again.   
  
He had soon slipped his tongue inside of her and she completely lost her ability to think. All she could do was  _feel._ There were a million amazing sensations rippling through her body all at once. Her hands knotted in his light brown hair and she tugged on the ends each time his tongue hit that sensitive bundle of nerves.   
  
She gyrated her hips against his face as he pressed his lips to her clit, drawing the little bud between his teeth. She almost cried because the sensual torture was too much to take. “Jasonnnnn,” she moaned. “Please. I can’t -  _I can’t-”_ The words died on her lips as she came, her whole body surrendering to the intensity of the orgasm. Her limbs were completely mush and it took several minutes before she could even lift her head off of the mattress to look at Jason. He had a decidedly pleased expression on his face and she took it as a challenge. She was determined to give him at least  _some_ of the incredible pleasure he had just given her.   
  
She pulled herself to a sitting position on the bed and reached for him. She smiled as she trailed her fingers down his bare chest. She came to his belt and went to work unwinding it from around around his waist. When it was free, she ran the leather strap over the tight flesh of his chest and arms. He growled at her, eyes darkening in desire.   
  
She threw the belt aside and went for his zipper next. She hooked her thumbs in his belt loops and tugged down his jeans, along with his boxers and boots. She smiled as his thick member sprang loose before her eyes. She could not resist touching him, running her petite fingers along the steel-like shaft.   
  
_“Sammmmm,”_ he groaned. She grinned and dipped her head to press a feather soft kiss to the tip of his member. She felt his hands fist in her hair as she began to press more kisses to his engorged shaft. She swept her tongue around the base of it as he placed her hands on him. He fell back on the bed as she began to lick and suck. He tugged on her hair as she took more of his length into her eager little mouth.   
  
She grazed his balls with her fingers as she sucked on him. When he came, it was as if a geyser erupted in her mouth. She swallowed greedily and then rose up on her kneecaps to kiss him on the lips. He smiled into her mouth, reaching behind her to stroke the cleft of her right ass cheek. They kissed passionately while their hands explored every inch of each other’s bodies. Sam was only too happy to get re-acquainted with every little contour and muscle on his spectacular body.   
  
“Sam, I need - I need to be inside of you.  _Right now,”_ he said as her hand found his shaft once more. He was rock hard again already.   
  
Jason pulled her atop him and she rested her hands on his chest, looking deeply into his eyes. His hands found her hips and he gave her a look that made her even wetter than before. Keeping one hand on her thigh, he moved the other to grasp his cock, bringing it to her entrance. She gasped in pleasure as he pushed inside of her. He gave her a few moments to adjust to his size and then began to pump his hips as she rocked against him.   
  
Her pert breasts jiggled as she rode him and he reached up to touch and fondle them. She panted out his name as he stroked her nipples. She reached between them and stroked his dick. “Fuck, Sam, fuck!” he said. She could that tell he was losing control, as was she, but they both wanted to make this last as long as they could.   
  
He drew all the way out of her and then slammed back into her. She cried out in pleasure as she ground her wet heat against him, again and again  _and again._ They had found the perfect rhythm and when they came, they did so in time. Sam buried her wild screams in his neck and he nearly ripped one of the pillows in half with his teeth because he was biting down on hard on it so hard.   
  
Sam collapsed on his chest. He kissed her right temple as she looked into his eyes, searching the azure depths for any sign of regret and finding none. She almost cried with relief.   
  
He hugged her body tightly to his. She was thoroughly exhausted but afraid that if she closed her eyes, he would be gone when she awoke.   
  
“I’m not going anywhere, Sam,” he said, as if reading her thoughts. “Get some rest, okay?”   
  
Sam nodded drowsily. Soon she was slipping into a peaceful slumber, only awakening in the wee hours of the morning when she heard Jason calling her name, almost frantically. “Sam,  _Sam!”_   
  
She popped open her eyes and looked over at Jason curled to her side. “What is it? Is Danny-?”   
  
“He’s fine,” Jason said. “It’s... me.”   
  
“What do you mean?” She pulled herself to a sitting position, tucking the sheet gingerly around herself.   
  
“I - I had a dream. But I don’t think it was actually a dream at all. I think it was a memory… Sam, I think I remembered something from our past together.”


	3. Chapter 3

** Part 3 **   
  
Sam studied the expression on Jason’s face. His eyes were wide and he looked a little pale. His breaths were coming in shallow puffs. “Sam, I think it was a memory - a memory wrapped up in a dream. I know that sounds crazy but -”   
  
She reached out and touched his arm. “Jason, it’s okay. Slow down. Tell me what you saw.”   
  
Jason turned on the bed to face her. “In this dream or memory or whatever it is, you were getting a rag wet in some kind of basin. And I - the old Jason, the one whose face I’ve seen in so many pictures - walked up behind you and took the rag from your hand. I started … moving it all over your fingers, shoulders, face. And then I kissed you. And it felt like I had been waiting forever for that kiss. Like I wasn’t even breathing before that moment.”   
  
“Jason,” Sam said in a soft voice. “Oh my god…” Her eyes became moist.   
  
“Was that a dream, Sam, or a memory?”   
  
“A memory,” Sam said hoarsely. “It's a really special memory of ours actually.”   
  
Jason tugged her down beside him. “Tell me about it. I want to know what happened, why I felt like I would die if I didn’t kiss you.”   
  
Sam nodded. She placed her hands lightly on his chest, feeling the rhythmic beating of his heart. “That moment and what came after it-”   
  
“We made love, didn’t we?”   
  
“Yes, it was … amazing. Especially because I never thought it would happen again. It had been two years almost since we saw eye to eye, let alone touched one another. But it happened. I guess it was meant to.”   
  
“Why hadn’t we been together like that in what did you say - almost two years?”   
  
“We had both done things to hurt each other. Really stupid things and there was one point I had convinced myself I hated you even.”   
  
“Sam…”   
  
“But I was lying to myself. I could never not-” She looked at him. "Jason, I could never not care about you.”   
  
“I’m glad you didn’t give up on me,” he said, lightly kissing her right temple.   
  
“I can’t. I just can’t.” She sighed. “Anyway, things started up for us again on our Mexican adventure.”   
  
“This sounds interesting…”   
  
“It was like a comedy of errors at first. Your car broke down because Spinelli had played with it; he had tried turning it into a hybrid. We were out on a deserted road for hours before we got the SUV to work… Later, a cop pulled a gun on us thinking we were breaking into this crappy little lobstershack…”   
  
“What were we doing all of that for?”   
  
“We were chasing after Michael and Kristina. They had both gotten into a lot of trouble and we set out to find them. Along the way, we got into a lot of trouble. Jerry Jacks -”   
  
“That guy was there?”   
  
“Well, he caught up to me in Mexico when we went our separate ways to try to find the kids. He dragged me to this abandoned church and forced me to call you and give you directions there. I knew you’d come and take care of him -”   
  
“I didn’t do a very good job, I guess.”   
  
“No, Jason, you did. You were wonderful.”   
  
“What happened once I got to the church? I assume I got there if I caught up to you later?”   
  
Sam nodded. “Yes… Jerry stashed me somewhere else and you two fought. A beam ended up crashing down on you two and Jerry crawled out of there little worse for wear like the cockroach he is …” She paused for a moment. “Sorry, just thinking of what he did to you… How he tortured and taunted you and then shot you … It just upsets me even now … When I found you again, I was almost sure that you were a goner. But I wasn’t going to give up. I could never do that.   
  
“I ended up digging a bullet out of your leg. You lost a lot of blood and had a fever. I was so scared for you; like I’ve never been before. I made you promise me that you would survive that night. Even when we were still apart, I didn’t ever want to in a world you weren’t in, Jason.” A tear dashed down her cheek. “Jerry did come back at one point. We had to hide in a crawl space and the way your blood kept dripping to the floor, I was sure he would discover us.”   
  
“He didn’t, I take it.”   
  
“No, but when we got back down from there, your wounds were infected. You just laid down and started talking. You never were a big talker but you were that night because you thought we were back in Hawaii, that we were going to have to say goodbye to each other. A few years before this, you had been on death’s door and you had brought me to Hawaii to say goodbye.”   
  
“Sam, how many times have you had to deal with losing me or almost losing me?”   
  
“Too many,” she said honestly. “And every time I thought a part of me was dying too…” She shook her head. “Anyway, in Mexico we talked for hours while you laid your head in my lap… And then you fell asleep. The next morning, your fever was fortunately gone. We talked a little more and I told you not to tax your body but you were stubborn and insisted on walking around.”   
  
“And I guess I insisted on doing much more than that. I initiated that kiss I dreamt about. And we -”   
  
“Got really close, yeah,” Sam said. “It was amazing … Just like tonight, Jason. It was different, but still so amazing.”   
  
“I’m a different man now, Sam,” Jason said. “Can you ever be okay with how I’ve changed?”   
  
“I’m more than okay with it,” Sam said. “I am just glad you’re here right now, that you didn’t leave after we -”   
  
“I promised you that I wouldn’t.”   
  
“Still no regrets about what we did tonight?”   
  
“None,” Jason replied, angling his head to kiss her deeply on the lips. “I am glad to be here. I feel… at peace, Sam, and I never thought once I woke up from that surgery a year ago that I would ever have that feeling.”   
  
“I’m glad,” Sam said. She touched his cheek. “I feel at peace too, like things have come full circle. I just don’t want to pressure you in any way.”   
  
“I don’t feel pressured. In fact, Sam, I think I’m ready.”   
  
“Ready for ...?”   
  
“To embrace the life that I could have with you and Danny too. I don’t want to run from this anymore and that means -”   
  
Sam swallowed hard. “What?”   
  
“It means I need to try to get my memories back. I have been anything but proactive about that and it needs to change. I want to remember, Sam. I want to remember everything - the good, the bad, the ugly. Every moment we shared, I want to remember it all.”   
  
“Jason…”   
  
“So … First thing in the morning, I am going to find a psychiatrist or somebody, anybody, who can help me figure things out.”   
  
A silent tear dripped down Sam’s cheek and Jason reached out to catch it on his thumb. “You really want to do that?” She asked.   
  
“Yes,” Jason said. “I really do.” He leaned over and kissed Sam.   
  
All too soon, passion had overtaken them and they began to make love anew.   
  
xoxoxo   
  
**  
Epilogue **   
  
It had been six months since Jason had began treatment with Dr. Maddox. Despite all of his and the psychiatrist's best efforts, no other memories of his old life had returned. Some nights, Jason would return to the penthouse after a session wanting to hit something or someone in frustration and it would be Sam that talked him down; it would be holding Danny in his lap and playing race cars with him that restored his equilibrium. He had officially moved back into the place a little over two months ago. It was his home. He couldn’t imagine being anywhere else.   
  
Still, he longed to be able to tell Sam that he remembered her. He wanted to see her beautiful doe eyes light up at the revelation as he shared memory after memory about their life together. He wanted her to be as happy as she and Danny made him.   
  
On this particular afternoon, Jason had endured over an hour of completely unsuccessful hypnosis. He had tried to breach the fog surrounding the memories of his past but there was just a big, empty, black space.   
  
When he came to, Dr. Maddox looked at him with obvious sympathy. Something else shown in his expression too. Maybe resignation. “Jason,” Andre said. “Did you remember anything this time?”   
  
Jason slammed his fist down on the table in front of him. “Not a damn thing. Not a fucking thing!” he bit out. He looked at Andre. "Level with me here, Doctor. What are the chances I will ever get even one of my memories totally back?”   
  
Andre set down the chart he always seemed to be scribbling in. “I can’t lie to you, Jason. I can’t give you false hope either. If those memories haven’t returned yet -”   
  
“They’re not going to?” Jason demanded. “Is that what you’re saying?”   
  
“Yes,” Andre said. “The chances you will ever recover your memories are slim.”   
  
“Slim to none…” Jason rolled his hands into new fists, prepared to take out the first thing in sight - a vase. He started to pick it up to throw it but then stopped, knowing destroying Andre’s property was unfair, especially considering how much he had tried to help Jason. He set down the vase. “Dammit.”   
  
“Jason, it’s not the end of the world, believe it or not. You are already building a new life; maybe you should focus on the present and the future.”   
  
Jason ran a hand down his face. “What am I supposed to tell Sam and Danny? That I don’t remember them - that I probably never will? That’s going to hurt them, especially Sam who I spent years loving. She shaped who I was -”   
  
“Something tells me that she will understand.”   
  
“How can I look into the face of the woman I love and tell her I don’t remember her?”   
  
“Because Jason, you just said it yourself. You love Sam and anyone can see that she loves you. You just need to move forward with your family and create fresh memories.”   
  
“I don’t want to disappoint Sam.” Jason sighed. “But what choice do I have? I’m not going to lie to her, keep promising her that one day I will remember our past when it's likely I never will. She deserves better than that.”   
  
Andre nodded in agreement. “You’re right; she does. You have to be honest with her.”   
  
Jason stood and slowly proffered his hand to the other man. “Thank you,” he said and then turned and walked out of the office.   
  
The hallways of General Hospital were teaming with life and he had to skirt around several gurneys before reaching the exit. He was close to escaping when the double doors suddenly slid open and none other than Sam and Danny walked inside.   
  
“Sam, Danny,” Jason said. Danny ran to him, throwing his arms around Jason’s legs. Jason ruffled his soft blonde hair. “What are you two doing here?”   
  
Sam smiled. “It’s a beautiful day out. Danny and I got to talking and thought that we could all have a picnic in the park. We wanted to surprise you, knowing how hard you’ve been working on your treatment.”   
  
Jason felt his chest tighten and he quickly leaned over and kissed Sam on the lips, needing to feel her, touch her, taste her. His kiss was desperate and she noticed. “Jason, are you alright?” She asked, touching her puffy lips. “You seem a little different.”   
  
“I  _am_ different, Sam,” Jason said quietly. “I am never going to be the old Jason Morgan you once knew.”   
  
“Jason -”   
  
Danny tugged on the fabric of Jason’s denim jeans. He fortunately didn’t seem to sense yet that anything was off. “The park, Daddy, the park.”   
  
Jason nodded. “Yes, we can go. I promise. Can I just talk to your Mom for a second? It’s pretty important.”   
  
“Okay,” Danny said. He skipped towards the waiting room and sequestered himself with the toys that had been set out by hospital volunteers. Jason and Sam followed him but ended up sitting in two adjoining chairs in the corner.   
  
Jason immediately reached for her hand, intertwining their fingers. "Jason, what’s wrong?” Sam asked. “Did you have another rough session? Did you remember something, maybe something unpleasant?” She worried her pretty bottom lip with her teeth.   
  
“I don’t remember anything at all - not happy, not sad, not …  _anything._ Sam, they aren’t there. My memories aren’t there and today Dr. Maddox said that the chances of them ever truly returning are pretty much null and void.”   
  
“Oh, Jason.”   
  
“He ended our treatment indefinitely.” Jason squeezed her hand and turned to look deeply into her beautiful eyes. “I’m sorry. I am sorry I can’t remember our past.”   
  
Sam smiled a little and squeezed his hand back before moving to trace the curve of his cheek with her tiny fingers. “It’s okay.”   
  
“Sam-”   
  
“It’s okay,” she said again. “You don’t need to pressure yourself anymore; you don’t need to push yourself to the limit anymore. I don’t want that for you.. I just want …”   
  
“What, Sam?”   
  
“I just want you. That’s all I’ve ever wanted.”   
  
“I want you too,” Jason said. “But how can you want me if I’m not the same man you once loved?”   
  
“Because I’ve … Jason, I’ve completely fallen in love with the man you are  _now.”_   
  
“Sam,” Jason whispered hoarsely. “I love you too. So much.” Sam’s eyes filled with tears. “I didn’t mean to make you cry.”   
  
“I know,” Sam said. “But this is just a really special moment. Everything is coming into focus.”   
  
“I wanted so badly to be able to tell you that I remembered our past - every moment, be it happy, sad, or in between. You deserved that. So does Danny.”   
  
“But all Danny and I  _need_ is for you to be with us. That’s all we’ll ever need.”   
  
“You’re okay with this - me never remembering the man I was?”   
  
“Does the man you are now truly love Danny and me?”   
  
“Yes. It’s crazy how much.”   
  
“Then how could I possibly ask for more?”   
  
“I want to be the man you deserve, Sam.”   
  
“You already are that man.”   
  
He reached for her then and pulled her into a tight hug, placing a soft kiss on the top of her head. “Maybe Dr. Maddox is right… Maybe it’s what happens now and in the future that matters most.”   
  
“It is,” Sam agreed. He felt her tears dampen the fabric of his gray tee-shirt. “All I ever wanted was you, Jason. I love you the way you are now, not for who you used to be.”   
  
“I love you too,” Jason said. He kissed her forehead and then moved to kiss her moist cheeks, tasting the saltiness of her tears. “Thank you.”   
  
“For what?”   
  
“For never giving up on me, even when I gave you every reason to do so.”   
  
“It’s not in my DNA to quit,” Sam said. “Not when there is something this amazing to fight for.”   
  
“Thank you,” he murmured again. Right then and there he resolved that he would always do his damndest to be worthy of the incredible love Sam had for him.   
  
He kissed her lightly on the lips just as Danny traipsed over. “Daddy and Mommy kissing,” Danny said with a little giggle.   
  
“So we are,” Sam said, giving Jason another quick kiss that left him wanting more. There would no doubt be love-making later and he couldn’t wait. For now though, Danny was here and Jason wanted to be with him too. He just wanted to be with his family, period.   
  
“Is that offer for a picnic in the park still on?” Jason asked.   
  
Danny nodded eagerly. “Yep!”   
  
Jason high-fived his son. “Alright, then let’s go.”   
  
“Yay,” Danny shrieked happily. Sam and Jason looked at each other with a smile. They both got to their feet.   
  
Jason hooked his fingers in the belt loops of Sam’s jeans. They walked side by side and soon stepped out into the brilliant afternoon sunshine. Jason looked at his family and smiled. He might never remember his past but what he had now was more than worth fighting for her. It was actually  _everything._   
  
**THE END**


End file.
